Monday, January 16, 2006

It Began With a Tragic Ending

Today is my first day home alone since I lost my precious baby girl on December 29th, 2005. She was born silent at 34.5 weeks and we still do not know for certain what caused her demise. I had been having contractions and went to the birth center on December 28th. After searching for a heartbeat for thirty minutes, the nurses called the OB to do an ultrasound. He informed me there was no heartbeat. That was when the bottom dropped out of my world.
I had been in the birth center five times previously for contractions and they had given me shots of Terbutaline and sent me home. I thought this time would be no different, so I did not bring my husband with me. I had to call him while I was hysterical and tell him our baby had died. He arrived and we were both completely devastated when the ultrasound technician confirmed the findings of the OB.
I was given the option of having labor induced or waiting for nature to take its course. We chose induction and began the process immediately. After more than twenty hours of labor, Cambria Quinn was born and we were able to hold her and admire our beautiful daughter. She was laid to rest in a beautiful, country cemetery on January sixth.
We were very fortunate to have family come to stay with us and help us through those first horrible hours of grief. Now our family has left, my five year old daughter is with her father and my husband has gone back to work. I created this blog as a means to express my feelings in the days to come as I figure out how to cope with this terrible loss.

2 Comments:

Blogger Jacqui said...

Aw jenn. I am so painfully sorry for all of this. I wish so much i could make ot all better for you and your family.

You are so strong and so brave.

I love you
Jacqui

8:13 PM  
Blogger Bob said...

I discovered this page from the link on your Flickr page. I came to read this and then looked at your other posts. It is good to read that you have had a chance to move forward from that very sad day.

Bob

7:51 PM  

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