Saturday, November 18, 2006


Last night I got to sleep for 5 hours straight for the first time since January! Brian took care of Zaeden until I woke up at 2 AM. It was so wonderful! Once we were up for the day, Z had his first projectile vomit. I was scared because he hasn't spit up at all yet. He turned red and I was worried. He recovered quickly and then we did his first tub bath. He loved it! Of course, he immediately peed all over. Ivy asked if he was going to "piss" all over himself again! We had a little discussion about that word. I have no idea where she heard it. I guess I looked pretty shocked, so she explained to me that piss is the same as pee.
Here's Z's after bath picture. He's so content.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Pediatrician Follow Up

He's up to 6 pounds, 14 ounces. She says that's borderline where she would like him to be, but it's good that he is gaining. We are not to try to change his schedule at all. She says his metabolism is so immature, we just need to adapt and live by his schedule until he is 4-6 weeks old and doing better gaining. She says to let the house get trashed, ignore everyone, eat out, whatever we need to do so Zaeden eats when he's hungry.
The pediatrician wants him bundled up as much as possible. She said you can tell if he's too warm if his face gets sweaty. She wants us to keep working on the pacifier. She says she's got 80% of her babies trained on the pacifier. She believes it makes them more independent later in life. She will help us wean him off it around 18-24 months. She says the pacifier falling out at night probably isn't waking him up, he's just waking up on his own and he wants the pacifier.
His jaundice is stable, so she didn't want to poke him today. She says he'll probably have a 4 hour rest period during the days and that would be a good time for me to pump. She says to breastfeed him as much as he wants around 10PM and then get some bottles ready to make the night easier. That's what I do anyway. Overall, she's pleased with his progress and says we are doing everything right. We have to go back in a week to check his progress again.


It's a good thing he's so darn cute! We've been up all night the last 2 nights. He doesn't cry, just fusses and grunts all the time. He whimpers when his pacifier falls out and I spend half the night plugging it back in. Last night he had 3 2oz bottles and breastfed twice. He had 3 soaking wet diapers. Around 4:30 AM, I brought him upstairs to his crib and told Brian I had to get some sleep. I went in the bonus room and slept for 2 hours while Brian took over.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006


I have so many fears. I don't think they are different from any other mom, but sometimes motherhood can seem overwhelming. I worry that I will drop the baby or twist him wrong and his neck will break. I worry my daughter or my dog will hurt him. I worry I will forget I have a baby and will leave him home alone, or leave him in the car.
I know these thoughts are normal, but they can really bring me down. I try to just snuggle with the baby and think happy thoughts, but it isn't always easy. I often start to think about Cami, and wonder what she would have been like if she had the chance to live. I think about how she never got to hear me tell her how much I love her.
I think it's time for a chocolate break before I get too depressed!

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Sweet Little Man

Here's my sweet little guy!

Friday, November 10, 2006

First Well Baby Check

I met with the doctor a long time and asked a ton of questions. His weight was 6-10 and length was 19 1/2. Length is never exact because it's hard to stretch out the baby straight. Doc thinks we can't compare weight in the office with what the nurses were getting at home. We have to go back once a week for the next 2 weeks to make sure he's gaining and check on the jaundice. She says, based on his eating schedule, she thinks he probably is gaining. She would like to see him back up to his birth weight next week, but that may be a stretch.
He's going to have the jaundice a while and may get something called "breastfeeding jaundice" around week 4. She showed me how to press on his foot and look to see if the thumb print is yellow. Right now the jaundice doesn't go to his feet, so if we see it on his feet, we know to bring him in and they will consider other treatment. His cord stump fell off a few days ago, which is a little early. It has been a little crusty and bloody. The doctor says his belly button is perfect. It will bleed and scab another 2 weeks. She recommends we just do the sponge baths instead of fully submersing him because the cord came off a little early and she doesn't want to risk infection.
We need to keep him really bundled up, but not to the point where he sweats. If he's using energy to keep warm, he won't grow. The hiccups, which sound so scary, are totally normal. It happens because his belly is full and it pushes up on the diaphragm. She says it's a good sign that he is eating enough. She says his feeding and sleeping schedule are perfect and we shouldn't do anything to try and change his days and nights now. She says he should sleep 22 hours a day. She says it's really good that he wakes up to eat. We just need to make sure he doesn't go more than 4 hours without a feeding.
She says he's gassy because his belly is very small right now and he's eating until he's full. It's not a problem. She recommended we use a pacifier with him and I told her we do. She says it's his little buddy right now and it's great to help him learn to comfort himself. She also said the Gerber NUK's are best for breastfed babies. I asked about visitors and she said he can go out and have visitors like normal, but we have to be hyper vigilant about germs. He shouldn't be near anyone that is anywhere close to being sick. If he even gets a little cold in the next 2 months, she has to do a ton of testing, including lumbar puncture, to rule out infection. If anyone visits, they have to thoroughly wash hands and not get in his face.
She said he's a very healthy looking baby. She showed how he reacts when she puts a cold hand on him and told me if he were a sick baby, he would just be floppy. She says he's got excellent muscle tone and it's hard for her to remember he's a preemie.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Short Celebration

I was so excited to finally snuggle with my baby, but today his numbers went back up. The nurse said we are still discharged from her service. She was trying to reach the doctor for instructions and said if she didn't call back, we should just follow up with our scheduled doctor visit on Friday. I waited all day for phone calls, even though I should have napped. There was no call. I am so worried about my baby. I know it's not rational, but I can't help it. He's eating and eliminating well and has been gaining weight. I just hope he's okay.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Happy Birthday to Me!

Zaeden's bilirubin numbers went down today and we got to remove him from the lights! The nurse will come out tomorrow to take his levels again just to make sure they are not going up. It felt so good to just hold my sweet baby. He is so snuggly.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Some Good News

He's gained a little weight and his bilirubin numbers went down a little today. He's eating less, but he nurse says it's a really good sign that he wakes up on his own to eat. She says most of the babies she visits have to be woken up for feedings. It is so sad to me that he just sleeps all the time. He did have his eyes open a few times today and last night during feedings. I just can't wait to be able to hold him whenever I want!

Saturday, November 04, 2006


Our poor little guy is still on the phototherapy at home with daily nurse visits. He's got to stay strapped onto this thing that's similar to a flatbed scanner with a sleeper gown on top. He's also got another plastic light across his belly. He sleeps all the time and is up every three hours for feedings.
My milk came in today and he's doing a great job nursing. He'll go for about 10 minutes each side. Unfortunately, we still have to supplement with formula because of the jaundice. I think he's got nipple confusion. It is too easy for him to drink out of the little bottle. He's not latching on properly to the breast. I'm using a nipple shield and he will only pull in the top part. If I try without the shield, it takes forever to get him to latch and then he lets go and falls asleep pretty quickly. His bilirubin numbers went up today, so we've got to keep up the supplementation. The nurse thinks this may be his peak though.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Birth Story!

I usually take my Lovenox shot first thing in the morning, but I was hoping to go into labor Halloween morning so I waited. If the Lovenox is still in the system, you can’t get an epidural. So I waited until noon and nothing was going on so I took the shot. By dinner time I announced it was too late to have a Halloween baby. Brian joked that I still had 6 hours left and I should get a move on it.
Brian and Ivy went trick or treating and I stayed home with my mom and answered the door. Every time someone asked when I was due, I would say, “I’m trying to get it out now.” Around 6:30, I was laying on the couch chatting with my mom and I felt a little pop. I told her I felt a weird pop and then there was a gush, but I did a kegel and held it in until I got to the bathroom and WOOSH! I came out and told mom my water broke. I sent a few emails and posted on boards. Then I added a few more things to my bag. Brian and Ivy got back and I told him my water broke. He started rushing around while I was slowly grabbing things. He came running in and asked what the heck I was doing. He already had the truck running and was frustrated that I wasn’t on the move.
We’re only a few miles from the hospital, so there really was nothing going on still when I got there. He dropped me off at the front entrance and I walked to the birth center. They got me settled in and checked me and I was still only 4cm. Then the contractions started. Ouch! It was awful. It took 4 needle sticks to get the IV in!
It made a huge difference when Brian rubbed my lower back really hard through the contractions. I asked for an epidural. The anesthesiologist came and when he found out about my meds, he said I couldn’t have one, but he would research it. At that point, I got scared of the epi and decided to ask for Stadol. It didn’t work. The doc checked me 15 minutes after the first one and I was at 6 cm. The anesthesiologist came back and said he discovered the protocol was that I could have an epidural at 10 PM. I was in so much pain that I said I wanted the epi.
At 10, the doc checked me and I was dilated to 8cm. The anesthesiologist came in and got the epi started around 10:20. It didn’t work until 11. As soon as it kicked in, the OB came in and checked me and told me it was time to start pushing. It only took about 3 pushes and one didn’t count. The doctor was singing, “She’ll be Coming Round the Mountain!” I started cracking up and the push was pretty much useless.
I was able to hold the baby right away. He looked so tiny to me. I couldn’t believe he was 7.5 pounds! I had a second degree tear, but honestly, I haven’t even noticed it yet!
The bad news is that Zaeden is jaundiced. He’s lost a pound and he’s all set up on the phototherapy at home with daily nurse visits. I am so sad. He has to stay on this machine and I can only hold him to feed and change him. I have to give him formula because my milk hasn’t come in yet. Poor little guy!

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Happy Birthday!

Zaeden Cormaic Jones
10/31/06 11:15 PM
7 pounds, 5 ounces
20 inches long
born at 35 weeks 5 days gestation