Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Fears

I have so many fears. I don't think they are different from any other mom, but sometimes motherhood can seem overwhelming. I worry that I will drop the baby or twist him wrong and his neck will break. I worry my daughter or my dog will hurt him. I worry I will forget I have a baby and will leave him home alone, or leave him in the car.
I know these thoughts are normal, but they can really bring me down. I try to just snuggle with the baby and think happy thoughts, but it isn't always easy. I often start to think about Cami, and wonder what she would have been like if she had the chance to live. I think about how she never got to hear me tell her how much I love her.
I think it's time for a chocolate break before I get too depressed!

2 Comments:

Anonymous Z said...

i believe Cami did hear you tell her how much her mommy loves her. while in the womb she heard and felt your love...

8:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I worry all the time, too.... will I leave her somewhere, will I wake up one morning to a SIDS baby, could she has a disease we have yet to discover, etc. You are a great mom.... we all worry - it's just we all don't share in your awful loss...

Hugs,
Stacey

10:32 AM  

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