Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Junk Mail

We get a lot of junk mail, but two things really bother me. I still get mail from baby companies for Cami. I hate getting the toddler coupons and letters. It is so sad. But even worse than that, is the junk mail from the funeral home! First we got an invitation to a scrapbooking party. Then we got an invitation to a group memorial and now a survey. The introduction makes it sound like they are trying to improve service, but the entire survey is obviously a solicitation to purchase future funeral arrangements. It doesn't ask a single question about how they handled our past funeral. I don't know if I ever mentioned this here, but when we went in to purchase Cami's casket and arrangements, the guy handed us a teddy bear wrapped in plastic and asked if we wanted it buried with her! We told him to please keep it and give it to a grieving child at a ceremony. How horrible to think of my daughter being buried with some strange, packaged add-on.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Good Thoughts

I'm using all my good thoughts for Dana today. I hope you are holding your sweet little baby girl in your arms. I know her big brother will be looking down and protecting her. I can't wait to see her!

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Slippery Slope

I started back on the discussion boards again. Maybe I need a 12 step program! I think this is the cause of a lot of my anxiety. I find that when I post, I keep going back to see how people have responded. I need to just control myself and stay away! I feel so awful when I spend a lot of time on the boards. I wish I knew a better way to control myself. I felt so much more free when I stayed away.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Anxiety

For some reason, I have had a lot of anxiety lately. I have trouble going to sleep, even when Brian takes care of the baby so I can get some rest. I can't stop thinking and it is getting frustrating. I guess I know the baby will just need to eat in a few hours, so I have a hard time going to sleep, knowing I will have to wake up soon.
Ivy has been a great helper with the baby and has started doing daily chores. She has been very enthusiastic and I hope I can keep it that way. I'm trying to make something special out of our private time when I drive her to her dad's each Saturday. We have about an hour alone together in the car. I know it isn't ideal, but at least it is time alone!
I have a Mother's Helper starting next week. That should take off some of the pressure to work and get housework done. I have been fairly productive lately with my work, but the house is still not clean enough. I had a nasty case of mastitis last week and was out of commission for a few days. Hopefully, with help, I can get the house in order and take care of some of the anxiety.